The Machete Order!

 

      1. Machete Order Intro

(Background track courtesy of AirPlusRecordings. Song: “Got More Time Than Money” by TigerPaw off his Jazz Nights Album)
 

The Star Wars Machete Order has been bouncing around the internet with increasingly positive feedback since Rod Hilton first posted it to his blog “Absolutely No Machete Juggling” back in November 2011.

Rod’s brilliant idea to re-imagine the viewing order of the 6 movies aims to breath new life into our beloved Star Wars and help it reclaim its badass status. So how does it work…well the order goes like this: 4, 5, 2, 3, 6.  But wait? where’s Ep 1?! GONE!? Yes it’s gone, and it should stay gone…

So, here’s the plan… I’m gonna do this in one day… THAT’S RIGHT!! ONE DAY! BWAHAAHHAHAHAAA! Starting now, until the credits roll on Return of the Jedi, I’ll be immersing myself in Star Wars goodness and putting the Machete Order to the test PM style! Join me on this journey of epic geekyness!

-JP

P.S. For an extra geeky touch, here’s an excellent list of all the changes to the Star Wars films over the years from the guys over at TheGeekTwins.com! I’ll be trying to spot the changes from my beloved old VHS Star Wars box-set of my childhood. First up… SW: A New Hope!

Star Wars: A New Hope

      2. Machete Order: A New Hope

(Background track courtesy of AirPlusRecordings. Song: “Set Me Free” by TigerPaw off his The Good Days Album)
 

To be honest… I haven’t watched the original trilogy in some time. It’s almost like episodes 1 2 &3 just took the hyper drive outta my millennium falcon, figuratively. A happy side-effect though is how fresh and exciting it feels to revisit the original films! A New Hope is as fantastic as it’s always has been. If you’re keeping up with the list from TheGeekTwins.com then you’ll likely agree that the additions and edits to Ep 4 are a mixed bag. I don’t mind some clean tweaks, but it’s a fine line you walk when adding new technology to old films. The 3d animated organic stuff feels…well not so organic. The added ship and technology goodies (Like the Falcon taking off from Moss Eisley) works great, but the 3d just wasn’t ready to do creatures convincingly. The uncanny valley still seems impassable even for ILM.

For the purpose of this article, I’ve decided to focus on the unique pairings Rod’s Machete Order creates. So, we’ll update next after the transition between Ep 5 and Ep 2, then the final update will be after the transition between Ep 3 and Ep 6. After which, we’ll have a wrap-up and final thoughts! OK, back to the couch! See you in a few hours!

Empire Strikes Back – Attack Of The Clones

      3. Machete Order: Ep5-Ep2 Transition

(Background track courtesy of AirPlusRecordings. Song: “You.Me.Oh” by TigerPaw off his The Good Days Album)
 

And now we finally make it to the first dramatic change the Machete Order suggests. After enjoying Ep4 and 5, we jump back to the beginning, skip Ep1 all together and go straight to Ep2 – Attack Of The Clones. Here’s where the genius of this system begins to show through. Skipping the lame Ep1 and jumping right into Attack Of The Clones allows us several interesting advantages.

While any excuse to skip Ep1 (often considered the worst Star Wars movie) is likely a good one, the wisdom of forgoing The Phantom Menace stretches a great deal further than simply skipping a weak movie. There are several characters and concepts introduced in Ep1 that barely, if ever, come up again and have little or no importance to the overarching story.

Removing these serves to streamline the storytelling and leave less awkward questions unanswered. We never wonder how Anakin goes from that kind little kid to a dark and brooding teen. There’s no-longer the creepy age gap between PadmĂ© and Anakin. No WTF moment with the stupid midi-chlorians or the virgin birth… uggh… and finally (almost) no damn Jar Jar!

The characters in Ep2 feel like they could really grow into their older selves in Ep4 on. There’s a distinctly dark side to Anakin, you can believe he’s destined to become Darth Vader. Attack Of The Clones simply fits with the other movies better. But, hopping around isn’t without it’s challenges.

The Machete Order in all its wisdom and grace… still doesn’t save Anakin from being a whiny little bitch. There are also some references here and there that clearly expect you to have seen Ep1, but they are easily overlooked. All in all, it’s a far more graceful and engaging introduction to the more recent trilogy. Now we dive back into the final two movies! See y’all in a few!

Final Thoughts

      4. Machete Order: Final Thoughts

(Background track courtesy of AirPlusRecordings. Song: “Cali Sunsets” by TigerPaw off his The Good Days Album)
 

In the end, the Star Wars Machete Order is an excellent way to enjoy these fine films and even breathe new life and vigor into a franchise that has lost some of its luster. We had a great time immersing ourselves in Star Wars goodness over the past few days. I find myself wanting to dig up my old SW books and games to enjoy once again. Many thanks to Rod Hilton for giving us an excuse to indulge in excessive geekyness and for reminding us just how much we love Star Wars! You rock!

And now… I leave you with this:

CHECK THIS OUT! Have you seen the Lego Ultimate Collector series!? Dude, these are so sick! We’re talking a coffee table sized Millennium Falcon, foot tall R2D2… Even a giant half built Death Star 2 (from Return of the Jedi)! I’m pretty sure we need these at the PM office, you know, to be complete people. Love you guys!

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